Vita et Mors

#009

"You have to start over. That's what they say. But life is not a board game, and losing a loved one is never really starting over, more like continuing without."

- Mitch Albom, The First Phone Call from Heaven

Everyday there’s the cycle of life and death. A new baby is born daily, an addition to the booming number of world population, yet there are those who’s about to take their last breath and glimpse of life. Everyday there’s a mother being rushed to the hospital, about to give birth and while the medical team is too busy in the delivery room there is one person at the other end of the hospital trying to battle out the last minute of his life that usually ends into a flat line. Deads. Patay. Goodbye. I can still remember how I said "una-una lang yan" during a class report for our Psychology class. Truth be told, death is an inevitable part of life and age is never a question. As they say kung oras mo na, oras mo na. It may sound that I'm taking death lightly but I sure am not.

Why most people are afraid to die? Is it because you know you’re not that good of a human that St. Peter might not find your name on his master list to the gates of heaven? Is it because of the ghosts or other creepy stories you heard during the Halloween season? How about life after death? There could be so many reasons why death scares us but I think the only fear we have about death is being left behind or leaving someone behind. Starting anew after losing someone is never easy so is leaving when you are not ready.

 It is somehow of a practice during a eulogy to speak about how the departed has been a good person despite their flaws, share every remarkable memory, tell each word we failed to say or the love we weren’t able to express. That’s how it is. But why do these if that person can’t actually hear any of it anymore? Is it just to show last respect or just so people could remember them in a good way? I think, aside from respect and remembrance, eulogies could be a way of acceptance about someone’s departure.  Remember when The Fault in our Stars’ Augustus Waters asked his special friend Hazel Grace and best friend Isaac to do a eulogy for him? Or that moment when a Rabbi asked Mitch to do his eulogy in the book “Have a Little Faith”? Both characters are still alive when they asked for their eulogy, maybe, just so they can hear what people have to say when they are gone or to somewhat prepare their loved ones to accept that sooner or later they have to continue life without them.

A world full of uncertainties, that’s where we live in. You surely know when your life started but not when it will end. I've been to wakes and funerals before, from a relative, to a neighbor, family friend, distant relative, up to the people I never met but is related to someone I know. Sadness is really evident in the atmosphere and during those times I just can’t help but think what if someone close to me reached their endpoint or how about if I die? *knocks on wood* Just the thought of it saddens me already. Life will never be the same and you just have to deal with the loneliness every time you remember them.

Make the best out of your time, so when the last minute of your clock ticks there’ll be no regrets of what you should’ve done. Life continues for both the departed and the ones left behind. Be here or in another life, at least you may say that you lived a good life.

©area2016

01-12-2016

Year-end Thought

#008

 I just got back to work today after a two-week holiday break. And yes, just like most of you I’m still trying to convince myself that vacation’s over and I need to get back to the reality of life which is work.

It has been a while since the last time I posted and a New Year might be a good time to share. Honestly, I just don’t know where I am going with this. I just have this urge to write something. I am giving you a heads up, this will not be about my New Year’s resolution or how my Christmas vacation went. Thank heaven that I’m done with school so I don’t have to compose any essays that forces me to create list of things and promises (which usually ends up being broken) I want to change / improve about myself and how I try to make my Christmas vacation sounds cool and fun when in fact, I was just at home glued to my bed.

For those days that we feel bored we usually think how time runs too slow for us. But then, there’s so little time when you have tons of work to do. Time is confusing as it seems, we sometimes wish for it to stop so we could also pause for a while or go on without wasting anything from it. But suddenly, time doesn’t stop and before we know it another year has ended.

If you’re going to ask me how my 2015 went, well, I may say that it was a “steady” year. I go to work, do some errands, go out occasionally, and do things that have been on my daily routine. Describing my 2015 as a steady year, actually felt like I haven’t made any progress at all. Not that I am degrading what I am doing right now, but let us say that I have managed to maintain what is on hand (with my work, finances and the people around me.) Nothing big happened last year, if any, I would say that this has been a favorable year for my “fangirling” schemes. I was able to watch a couple of shows of my favorite local bands and musicians. Bought their albums, have it signed and posed for some photo op. And that was awesome you know.

I graduated from College last 2014 and was able to land on a job few months after, it was more than year ago but I totally realized the shift of responsibilities from a regular college student who just waits for her weekly allowance, go to school, study and graduate to an office working girl who needs to divide her salary for the house bills, self-allowance, some self-reward / treats, savings and for other expenses that a girl at her age would want to possess. I’m not complaining or something, I actually kind of like it, because at some point even though I am not earning that much, I was still able to contribute something for our family’s need and I somehow feel the independence little by little. In a span of 1 year I think that the college girl who used to be so dependent on the parental help is now slowly turning into someone who atleast knows how to value the worth of the things she’s working hard for.

Its 2016, New Year, new life, new beginnings as they say. But I don’t think I’ll have a “New Me” I may get used on a little change but won’t force anything to myself or to anyone. Might as well enjoy the moment, learn and strive to see what’s ahead of us.

Happy New Year, folks!

© area2016

01/04/2016

Est. Since 1994: TwenTEEN-One and Over

#007

Aging is an inevitable process. I surely wouldn't want to grow younger. The older you become, the more you know; your bank account of knowledge is much richer.  - William Holden

Today, I just grow a little year older. I’m now at that stage when putting the word “teen” seems awkward. “Twenteen” (20) sounds a little okay, but Twenteen-One (21)?! Let’s not push it anymore. We’re all getting old, every year we add another candle to our birthday cake. It’s our favorite day next to Christmas and holidays. We’re excited to celebrate and receive gifts / greetings. Who wouldn’t be happy if you were given another year to live?

The past 20 years has not been an easy journey. At this age I also had my fair share of trials but then again there are also those moments in which I know I did best. I thank God for letting me live throughout this year. For letting me grow, for blessing me with so much I could pray for. For all the people who has been with me since the beginning, for those who had tested my will and my limits, thank you. I will never be the person I am today without you.

As a new year added in my life, there are so many plans in my head, things I want to do, dreams I want to achieve, and places I want to go. I’m getting old but still young, young to make things happen, to explore and to learn. I don’t know when, I don’t know how long it would take me to be who I wanted to be, but I’m getting there. The Man Above sure has a plan for me, I don’t know what, but I’m sure it’s great. Life just had started and I’m ready to conquer my world.

Happy 21^st Birthday to me! 

© area2015

07-13-2015

Post-Graduation Dilemma

#006

God wants us to know that life is a series of beginnings, not endings. Just as graduations are not terminations, but commencements. Creation is an ongoing process, and when we create a perfect world where love and compassion are shared by all, suffering will cease. - Bernie Siegel

[phto from: http://stephaniecadieuxmla.bc.ca/
NO COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT INTENDED]

Graduation feels everywhere! And yes, it’s that time of the year once again, though some school here in the Philippines doesn't share the same school calendar like the majority. But still, it’s a reason to celebrate, right?  

If you’re fortunate enough to be able to finish your education I’m pretty sure that you’ve felt that excitement, happiness and relief that, at last your years of struggles, hardships and experiences in a roller coaster like college life has come to an end. But have you ever feel anxious about graduating? I just graduated from college almost a year ago, and honestly aside from the excitement and happiness I feel about graduating I also thought about what would happen to me now that I’m over school. Being the over-thinker I am, I thought about the “what ifs” of the post-graduation scenario.

Landing on a good job is the first concern of a typical newly college graduate.  But, what is a good job really? Is it the kind of a job that can provide you and your family’s needs or a job that you love to do and been dreaming of since ages? Most people, whether graduates or not usually choose a job that can feed our family and pay our bills. Lucky enough if you’re able to land on a good paying job and at the same time it is the field that you really wanted to work in.

Then there is also the feeling of fear of being left behind, I mean it is when your friends or classmates are already in their first real job why you’re still stuck at home and going from interviews to interviews just to find that first real thing. Of course, you are happy for them about getting in a job and you also know that you’re not in the school competition anymore but you just have this unsolicited feeling of frustration whenever you learn that someone already got a job for themselves. And the fact that aside from them, your colleagues, there are still hundreds or thousands of unemployed people who are still in the battlefield of job search just like you is not helping at all. Then there’s some family member who would tell you to go find a job because you have to help them and be not a burden because they've already done their part in sending you to school. Time to give back just like they say.

I may list down other dilemmas newly grads may think of, but it will just go down on our primary concerns which are job, money and sense of independence. Even our own fears may come in the way but those are just part of the challenges we have to face as we enter another chapter of our lives. I do believe that everyone has worries and fears, and overcoming them is what makes this life a little more interesting.

Don’t let your fears gets into you. You may have a minor setback in the beginning but always remember that you’re always bound to have a major comeback through your hardships, faith and courage. Don’t think of life as a racing competition that whoever finishes first is the winner. Take your time, grow each day and prepare yourself for every battle you have to face, apply all the lessons you've learn from school not just the academic ones but also the values and lessons you've learned through experiences, and when you know that it’s your time then go for it, grab it hard and soar high to the dreams you’re made of.

Congratulations, Batch 2015 and may the odds be ever in your favor!

©area2015

3-24-2015

The Chaos State of Mind

#005

Have you ever been in that moment when you can’t help yourself from thinking and thinking and thinking about something for a long time? When thoughts are continuously running through your head that you can’t keep them up? Well, I’m actually like that from time to time. I don’t know if it is because of these so-called hormonal ups and downs once a month or it has been my habit to over think things. To tell you honestly, it sucks. Thinking too much sucks. As much as you want to keep your thoughts plain and simple, your brain keeps on overdoing things. They say that we also have to use our head (brain) in terms of decision making, and not let our feelings or emotions took over us. Yeah, thinking clearly is really important; it helps us to come up with a sensible and at least a very accurate decision for the time being. But when we start to over think things it can actually ruin us. Too much of something is not good, right? (Or am I wrong?) When we’re over-thinking we tend to create problems that are non-existent, making up scenarios that are not even there in the first place. We usually think ahead of the situation, our thoughts are always full of “what ifs”. Doubts and worries start to eat us up. We do sometimes feel anxiousness because of thinking far ahead from what is really at hand. Can we do something about it? Preventing ourselves from thinking too much? Of course, there are some advices available from doctors and other specialists to help us, over-thinkers to manage our way of thinking. I’m no expert at this at all, but for sure, at the end of the day, it is only us who can help ourselves. When you feel like you’re thinking too much than the usual find a way to let your thoughts out. You may write it down freely on a piece of paper and let your hands and brain jot down whatever you are thinking just to load off. Or you may also try anything you think may work on you but make sure not to hurt yourself or others on the process. It just a phase of life, buddy. We’ll make through it.

google image

© area2014

10-30-14

3:50pm

Meeting Strangers in Manila

#004

If a man be gracious and courteous to strangers, it shows he is a citizen of the world. -Francis Bacon


There are now more than 7 Billion people on Earth. And we're able to meet or encounter at least a percentage of them from that figure. The simple way of going to school or work, buying some stuff in the store or even just walking along the busy streets and sides of the world enables to see a bunch of people doing their personal things for living. We may know some of them but majority were just strangers that we happen to see each day in our lives.

Nowadays, most of us believe that it is really hard to trust others especially strangers.  That’s why we all grow up hearing the dialogue “Don’t talk to strangers.” from our parents. We may not ignore the fact that in this world there are really some people who are taking advantage on someone’s kindness, despite of the good things shown to them; these people still manages to do something bad in return. But we’re not talking in general here. Because on the other side there are those people who are kind enough even with strangers without any expectations of returning the favor to them. We may consider this as their "good deed of the day."

One day, two of my friends and I decided to go on a sort of Manila Trip. I mean, we visited National Museum, Luneta Park and National Library which are all located in Manila. It was really a day I can consider as one of the most memorable in my life. It was a simply amazing tour, the experience of history and arts inside the museum, the nostalgic feeling of childhood in Luneta, and the memories of our thesis days at the library. Another thing that amazed me that day is the fact that we’re able to meet some random people. It was really unexpected yet so heart whelming at the end of the day.

I’ll give you a glimpse about our encounter to some “strangers” that day. First is this funny jitney (jeep in Filipino) driver who took us from Avenida to the National Museum. While on our way he had some small conversation with us, asking why we are going to the museum, what are the things we can see there and so on. He was also talking to the other student beside him in the front seat, when the girl boarded off the jitney he told her that she should study hard and try to lose some weight for she may not have any suitors in the future (that’s kinda mean and funny at the same time.) And turning back again to us, he keeps on asking random questions until we told him that we’re also students who are about to graduate after a couple of months (cross-fingers). His reaction really hit me because he seems so happy for us as if we know him that long. He even did some air punch while driving (good thing we haven’t gone to any accident because of that) which shows his enthusiasm about what we just told him. We took off the jitney smiling and really amazed about that funny jitney driver.

National Museum

             

Next is this Korean couple we’ve met while we’re on our way from National Museum to Luneta Park. They are Korean tourists visiting the country for the first time; they just came from Intramuros before they approach us asking for directions going to Luneta. We told them that they could follow us because we’re also going there. We had some conversation during our long walk from the museum up to Luneta, and from Luneta to Kalaw. They’re quite tired from all of the tour they have since that morning, so they asked us where the nearest Jollibee (food chain) in the area is, for they want to try eating there because it was suggested in their travel guide. My friend and I were about to leave them after we brought them to Jollibee, but they insisted that we should come inside and join them in their (late) lunch. We continue exchanging conversations with them (but mostly it was the husband who is communicating with us) until we found out that he was a professor in South Korea. We just notice that because he kept on asking us if we are studying in Manila University, though we’re telling him that we are students from Polytechnic University of the Philippines. He also asks about the class schedule here in the Philippines, so I think that he is quite doing some comparison between the class schedules of two countries. May be we stayed like that for less than an hour on Jollibee because we keep on talking and asking questions on each other, it really feels good to satisfy your curiosity about other races at first hand. And after a long chit-chat we took some pictures with them as souvenirs and even tried to hire a cab that would take them to their next destination. Before they rode off the cab, the wife took out her gadget and asks for a picture (we’re actually on the sidewalk that time), after some shots she shows the picture she had taken and keep on scrolling her gadget, at first we thought that she is just showing the pictures she had taken earlier from their tour, until she stops on a certain picture that shows a stolen shot of me and my classmate when we’re walking ahead of them at Luneta. It was really sweet of her as she shows that picture to us, she was smiling from ear to ear which I interpret that she is also happy meeting us.  I was actually can’t get over from that meeting with them. It feels so heart whelming that I still find myself smiling  even on my way home that day.

that's me and my classmate and the two Korean tourist we've met that day.
it was really a great experience meeting people like them.
Thank you for being nice and generous to us.
Hope you'd enjoy our company and also your stay in the Philippines.
Wishing to see you again someday! gamsahabnida!!

Last are these staffs from the Multimedia Section of the National Library of the Philippines. Our main goal for that day was actually to do some research at the library for our project but since that little tour with those Korean took most of our time, we ended rushing things up at the library. Most of the materials we found at the library are located at the multimedia section, because those materials are quite old so it was secured on a film and could only be viewed by means of a machine showed below.

The two ladies assigned at the said section were very accommodating to us. They even suggested other materials that are related to our topics so we could have something more to add for our research. Since there’s only a specified time in which they allow printing and further research, the ladies reminded us to list down the pages we would like to have in print and just get back the next Monday to pick up the materials. Maybe we’re still overwhelmed from the Korean encounter that’s why we find these ladies and their actions towards us overwhelming also.

To sum that day up, it was really special, I feel so overwhelmed and happy. There’s a genuine smile on my face until I got home. The whole experience was new to me. I mean, as much as possible I try to avoid strangers especially when I am alone on the streets, but that day was different. You have this feeling of satisfaction after. Some sort of realization also struck me as I wrote this down.  Sometimes it is not really bad to “talk to strangers.” We just have to be cautious every time for the sake of our safety. Life is simple. It is just us that make things complicated at times, we may even find happiness in random people we meet and experiences that comes in a much unexpected way. A stranger as defined by Merriam-Webster is someone who you have not met before or do not know. But come to think of it, at some point we’re not totally strangers with each other, because there are some things in life that we may have in common. Maybe we’re both sharing the same belief, listen to the same bands, used the same products, and idolized the same celebrity and other things that we may talk about if chance permitted to do so.

©area2013

The Tales of 14th Avenue ( Sa Aming Ikatlong Taon... [poem])

#003
Aloha! I'm back. I just wanted to share this poem I wrote yesterday while waiting at the National Statistics Office. I just have the inspiration to write this down after attending a simple birthday gathering of one of my dearest friend, Abby last Sunday. This is so timely for us because yesterday marks our 3rd year of friendship. My girls and I haven't gone to any celebration yesterday, so we just greeted each other on SMS and Facebook.

I won't go for any long introduction for now. I still have so much in mind about them that I can't put it into words. Maybe I'll reserve those for further post here in my blog.

This poem is written in Tagalog/Filipino. So to my foreign blog visitors, I think my page has a feature where you can translate it in your native language I just don't know if it'll corresponds each word accurately. Thank you. :)

So here it goes...

Sa Aming Ikatlong Taon... by: Anna Aguilar

Kasabay ng aking pakikinig sa musika Ay ang pagkatha ng mga salita. Mga munting talatang maglalahad Sa kwento ng aming pagkakaibigang sagad. Sa Instagram, Twitter at Facebook Thursday daw ay throwback, Friday naman ang Flashback. Pero ngayon trip kong mag back track. Hindi ng mga tugtugang sumikat noong unang panahon, Kundi ng mga pagkakataong dadalhin ko sa mga susunod pang taon. Sa Sintang Paaralan sa may Sta. Mesa Naganap ang mga unang eksena. First year college ng magkakila-kilala, Sapagkat iisang kurso ang kinuha. Byahe pauwi kami’y makikita nyo sa jeepney. Mga batang taga- Kyusi, sa may Seattle naglalagi. Pag nag-abot ng bayad kay manong drayber, ito lagi ang aming sambit: “Tatlong Sandigan, dalawang Tandang Sora, Isang Montessori. Estudyante, nag-aaral ng mabuti.” Tatlong taon ng pagkakaibigan Samu’t saring mga kaganapan. Galaan, tawanan at kwentuhan ay laging nandyan, Subalit may tampuhan din naman paminsan-minsan. Ngayo’y hindi na madalas magtagpo, Dahil sa schedule na medyo malabo. Pero sa mga pagkakataong pinagbubuklod-buklod, Pihadong kabag ang aabutin mo. Kaya ngayong ating anibersaryo Ito ang handog ko sa inyo. Mga salitang mula sa aking puso Pagkat kayo’y mga kaibigang totoo. Maraming Salamat at Mahal ko kayo. Di ko na alam kung paano tatapusin ito. Pero isa lang ang sigurado ako. Ang pagkakaibigang ito ay hindi magtatapos sa kolehiyo. Kaya naman Maligayang Anibersaryo sa inyo.

© area2013